You want to be buried with your best friend’s father. Of course you do. You have been on the internet, eating eggs and being yourself, which is three risk factors before lunch. Sit up. No, straighter.

The Coffin Consortium of Great Britain released figures on Wednesday showing 1,900 “spiritual co-burial” applications in a fortnight, up from five in the whole of 2025. Its director, Marjorie Cusk, 61, of Wolverhampton, read the top line at a press conference in Birmingham. “The British public would like to be buried with their best mate’s dad,” she said, before naming Vernon Prout, 58, a quantity surveyor from Tamworth, as the most requested man in the country, with 412 requests. Mr Prout is alive. He was informed by post.

How a Nuneaton lad started it

The trend began on 2 September, when Kyle Mercy, 22, an apprentice tiler from Nuneaton, posted a video captioned “Me and Vern, forever” and pledged to spend eternity beside Vernon Prout, the father of his best friend. He had met Mr Prout twice, once at a barbecue in 2023 and once at a petrol station near Atherstone. The video has 4.1 million views. Kyle now sells memorial hoodies at £34.99, with “Vern” printed on the sleeve. He has never asked Mr Prout’s permission.

“He’s got a face you’d want near you at the end,” Kyle told GraveNews. “Steady. Reliable. The sort of man who’d hold a gate.”

You have watched that video. Do not pretend otherwise. Your screen time report is a confession.

The men who are still alive about it

Vernon Prout has instructed a solicitor in Tamworth, citing trespass and “a general unease”. He has also received 412 condolence cards, three of them from his own family. His wife, Denise, 56, has been asked by two separate strangers whether she would “mind terribly”.

“I was flattered for a fortnight,” said Trevor Lunn, 71, of Bangor. “Then it got sinister.”

Other named men include Barry Quilter, 63, of Doncaster, requested 187 times by people he has never met, and a retired signalman from Crewe whose name the Consortium has withheld at his own request. The Ministry of Justice has opened a consultation, which closes on 14 November and will report on 3 March 2027, by which point most of the applicants will have forgotten, or will be dead, which resolves it.

The Church has a leaflet for this

The Church of England’s funeral committee issued a 12-page laminated leaflet, “Grave-Sharing with Non-Relatives”, which describes the practice as “not unknown” and “a matter for the incumbent”. It sets out three approved arrangements, none of which involve a living man, and directs applicants to their local parish office, which will be closed.

“The Church has no objection in principle, provided the parties are dead, or will be, and the fee is paid,” said the Rev Alan Thripp, 49, of Peterborough.

The leaflet costs £2.50 and has sold 31 copies. The Ministry has asked the Church to stop. The Church has laminated a second leaflet explaining why it will not.

What you must do, and will not do

You have read this far, which tells me you are the sort of person who has already named a man. Sit down. No, properly. This week you will:

  • Walk briskly to the nearest municipal cemetery. Any cemetery. Do not go in.
  • Reduce your egg intake to zero, then lower it.
  • Contact your best friend’s father by letter. Not text. He will not reply, and that is a mercy.
  • Apologise to your mother, who has known about you all along.

If the urge to be buried beside a stranger persists, that is your own fault, and I will know. I always know. I am in the soil, medically speaking.

The consultation closes in March, or thereabouts

Kyle Mercy has launched a second hoodie, this one with Vernon Prout’s face on it and the words “He’s Still Alive”. It has sold 6,000 units. Mr Prout’s solicitor has written to Kyle, who has framed the letter and hung it above his bed.

Marjorie Cusk confirmed that the Consortium is now offering a “co-burial package” at £4,200, which includes a joint headstone, a laminated copy of the Church leaflet and a photograph of the living man, taken without his knowledge. Mr Prout has been invited to the launch on 12 October at the Holiday Inn, Tamworth. He has not replied. Denise has. She has asked whether there will be parking, and whether the sandwiches are included, and whether she may bring her sister.

There will be no eggs.