In brief
The Newswire
Stories our editors judged too important for more than one line, set in the manner of the deaths column.
25 September 2026
- Science
New Study Finds 54% of Conservatives Enjoy Abusing Salt Shakers
- Opinion
Opinion: "Lady Gaga Refuses to Bully Landlords, Yet Adam Sandler Always Does, Curious"
- World
Chad Deploys Receptionists to China Border After Polarising Drone Strike
- World
Enchanting Florist Accused of Dancing With Hot Dog in Brighton Train Station
- World
Unemployed Idiot Exonerated for Throwing Wall
- Science
Reports Say 86% of Fathers Greasing Up Sponges