World
Heartwarming: Thick Pensioner Arrested for Peeling Bin Boy
A 74-year-old retired churchwarden is arrested for peeling his neighbour's wheelie bin, then acquitted, then celebrated. The bin is now a heritage asset. Mrs. Crumb is not amused.
World
Dispatches from everywhere that is not here.
Plate: Death and the Diplomat
World
Scotland Offers to Swap Dehumidifiers for Trade Deal
Scotland offers England 400,000 dehumidifiers in exchange for a customs union. England accepts, then discovers the machines are the size of wardrobes and the storage bill is £14 million. Frederica Organ reports barefoot from the border.
World
Shawn Mendes Seen Scratching Rat-Person
A rat-person crawled out of Shawn Mendes's sleeve on a live stream, was given a name, a Juno and a heritage plaque, and is now wanted for arson. Ruby Sound says he was never real.