At 3.14am on Tuesday 29 September, a white Ford Transit with false plates was driven at the perimeter fence of the Atomic Weapons Establishment at Burghfield, Berkshire. The driver, later named as 51-year-old Terrence Pell of Reading, was carrying a device that failed to explode, and was arrested at 3.19am by a Ministry of Defence police officer who happened to be walking his dog. The Home Secretary, Felicity Groat, was woken at 3.52am and told to attend Cobra, arriving at 4.40am wearing a gilet over her pyjamas, with the meeting beginning at 4.47am.

The Home Secretary sleeps through the threat level discussion

At 4.58am, eleven minutes into the meeting, Groat fell asleep. Her head tilted to the left, and the Cabinet Office briefing notes record that she ‘remained unresponsive’ while the committee discussed whether the van contained a second device and whether to raise the national threat level to critical. At 5.12am, an aide dropped a tray of teas. Groat woke briefly, asked if it was ‘the one with the tunnel’, and fell asleep again.

She finally woke at 5.51am, fifty-three minutes after first closing her eyes, and asked whether the incident could be reclassified as a traffic offence to avoid a statement to the House.

“I simply cannot explain what has happened here,” said Dr Patricia Horns, Senior Fellow of Ongoing Situations at the University of Sheffield. “One does not expect the Home Secretary to be the only person in the room who is entirely at peace.”

A leaked recording captures the snoring

On Wednesday morning, an audio recording was leaked to ITV News. It captures Groat snoring gently at 5.07am, during a discussion of whether to deploy troops to the Berkshire perimeter. At 5.33am she can be heard muttering ‘not the green one’. The Home Office refuses to confirm or deny the recording’s authenticity.

“The Home Secretary was fully engaged with the process throughout,” said a Home Office spokesman, Reginald Pottle, Deputy Director of Explanations. “Any suggestion otherwise is a distraction from the real work of keeping the country safe.”

Groat tells Sky News she was fully briefed throughout

At 8.12am, Groat appeared on Sky News. She said she was ‘fully briefed throughout’ and that the government’s response was ‘textbook’. Asked directly whether she fell asleep, she said she ‘closed her eyes for a moment of reflection’ and that ‘the Prime Minister has full confidence in me’.

By 9am, the clip had been viewed 2.3 million times. At 11am, a backbench Conservative MP, Graham Tope, called for her resignation.

“If you cannot stay awake for a terror attack, you cannot stay awake for the job,” said Graham Tope MP, Chair of the All-Party Parliamentary Group for Staying Awake.

Groat was photographed leaving Downing Street at 11.40am carrying a takeaway coffee.

The Cabinet Office review into ministerial fatigue

At 2pm, the Cabinet Office announced a review into ‘ministerial fatigue’. All ministers are to be issued with a laminated card advising them to sleep in designated rest areas and to avoid alcohol within twelve hours of a Cobra meeting. The card includes a diagram of a suggested sleeping position. Groat was asked whether she would undertake the review herself.

“I will reflect on the findings in due course,” said Felicity Groat MP, Home Secretary.

A source close to her said she had been ‘working extremely hard’ and that ‘the country should be grateful she was there at all’. The review is expected to report in January.

Your correspondent finds a small sherry and a worse question

Your correspondent has obtained a copy of the leaked audio and listened to it four times, with a small sherry. One had intended to condemn the Home Secretary utterly, and one does, but one also notes that the meeting was discussing a van that did not explode and a threat level that did not change. The only person in the room who understood the situation was the one who was asleep.

Terrence Pell, meanwhile, has been charged under the Terrorism Act and remanded in custody. He will appear at Westminster Magistrates’ Court on 14 October. The weather is turning. The nights are drawing in. One supposes we shall all be asleep soon enough.